Well, it’s been a while since I last posted. (Actually, it’s only been a month). It just seems longer, for some reason. So what’s been up in my life lately?
As most of you know, I am a total introvert. I’ve always been somewhat shy, even as a little girl, and that just sort of stayed with me. I also think part of it was due to being home-schooled up until 8th grade; then I was suddenly thrust into public school. As I look back in hindsight, I wish I would have pushed myself more and gotten out of my comfort zone and spoken up more.
However, I’m not always shy; sometimes I would rather just sit back, listen, and observe.
For example: One night we had a meeting at church (I really didn’t need to be there but didn’t realize it until it was too late). I was bored most of the meeting and didn’t say a whole lot. (We were there for 3 and a half hours- 6:30 to a little after 10). I was drained by 8:30 and wanted to go home already. (The meeting consisted of me, Dad, and 5 other people, one of which was our pastor). There were a couple times when some of the others went into the next room to discuss something and so it was just me and one other girl together, and I started talking to her then.
Anyway, this one lady (although I’m sure she didn’t mean to), embarrassed me. Our pastor asked me my opinion on something, and the lady pointed at me and said, “She hasn’t said one word all night!” The others laughed, and I just smiled in embarrassment. The girl that I had talked to earlier stood up for me, saying that I had made a few comments when it was just me and her, but I still felt so dumb. Now the lady that embarrassed me, I love her. She is a very sweet lady and I don’t think she meant to hurt or embarrass me. She is opposite of me, however. She is a chatty Cathy and I am a silent Sally. But, it was a lesson learned. I do need to learn to talk more and not be so shy. Sigh. And I also should have driven separately instead of going with Dad (but hey, I wanted to save on gas. It wasn’t worth it this time, though).
Like I’m not already insecure enough about them. I have had my shyness/introverted-ness pointed out and made fun of so often that I wonder if that’s God telling me to get out of my comfort zone more. Not saying I’ll totally change who I am; I’ll always be an introvert. I just need to start speaking up more.
Yes. Yes, I do. *Sigh*
That should say, “Shy people usually end up being some of the coolest people you know after you start talking to them”. (I hate when a word is misspelled or left out of a quote).
Don’t underestimate us! Okay, now I have to brag a little bit. 2 or 3 years ago, our youth group had an event called “The Amazing Race”. We divided up into teams (Red, Blue, Green, White, Black, and Pink), and each team had a list of things they needed to accomplish. Whichever team got done first was the winner. Each team had the same list of things to accomplish, but had different times at which to accomplish them. Me and my brother Eric were on separate teams, and my team at one point was at someone’s house and we had 2 choices. We could either go on a boat and get something, or do a Bible crossword puzzle. We opted for the crossword puzzle, (much to my relief), and, not to sound prideful or anything, but I knew a lot of the answers to the puzzle, and my teammates kept congratulating me. :-D In the end, our team didn’t win, but I still felt good about myself. I also learned that Eric had done something really well for his team (though his team didn’t win either), and one of the guys from Eric’s team said, “Man, those Wengerd kids are smart.” Yeah we are! Woot woot!
The Single Life
Yes, I am still struggling in my singleness. My cousin Tonia gave birth to her first child, Kierra, in February of this year. My other cousin, Amber, gave birth to her third child, Simon, in May of this year. And yet another cousin, Kristin, is expecting her first child in March. Needless to say, I feel rather left out. :'(
I met with my dear Aunt Ruby for coffee last week, and I was lamenting my singlehood woes to her. I was telling her, “It’s not fair that most of my cousins and friends got married within four years of each other. Amber and Tonia got married in 2010, Susie got married in 2011, Kelly and Bradley married in 2012, and Kristin and Daniel married in 2013. When will my turn come?”
Aunt Ruby told me that they had a visiting pastor in their church recently, and his message was, “Life Isn’t Fair.” She said that he talked about how no, it’s not fair that others have certain things that we don’t. But, he also talked about how it’s not fair that we have so much in America, while others have so little. Aunt Ruby told me, “Look at this way. It’s not fair that you were raised in a godly home, while others are being abused. You could have been raped, molested, been born in Iraq or Syria and captured or killed, or been born in Africa and gotten Ebola,” etc. Wow. That really puts things in perspective. I do have so much to be thankful for. That humbled me.
I still desire marriage and children, but God has been showing me the beauty of singleness, too. I can’t speak for all moms, but I hear of mothers who want some time to themselves. Me? I have so much free time after work. Usually after supper is when I go off to my room and read, listen to music, watch DVDs on my laptop, or I’ll go to the office and write. I tend to take my free time for granted. My time is mine, and my money is mine. Every year the ladies from our church go on a shopping trip, and we’re going again this Tuesday (the 14th). I am planning on going, and it’s nice because all I have to do is ask off work, get money from the bank, and I’m set. If I was married, I’d have to ask my husband if he was okay with me shopping, how much of our money could I spend, and I’d have to find a sitter for the kids. And speaking of kids, my co-worker, Linda, has a daughter named Emilie, and lately she’s been supporting things that go against the Bible. This distresses Linda immensely, and I admit I get scared of that. What if I do get married and have kids, but my kids turn away from the faith? Sometimes it’s nice just to take care of the kids at church and then give them back to their parents afterwards.
As most of you know, I love to write (hence this blog). I like to write stories, but am so self-conscious of them and rarely show them to anyone.
I had a friend from high school that I felt comfortable showing my stories to, but we don’t keep in contact anymore, and for a while, although I knew my stories were silly, I still deeply desired someone to show them too. Thankfully, God heard the desire of my heart, and allowed me some wonderful new friends to share my stories with (and I feel safe and comfortable showing them my stories). Now, I don’t show them to just anyone, because most of it is just fan-fiction fluff. One of those people is Linda, my bookmobile co-worker. I do hope so much my friends like and enjoy it. I had a lot of fun writing it. :-) I may be quiet and not talk much, but I can write a 203 page fan-fiction story. (Did I actually just say that? Now everyone’s going to want to read it, and honestly, I’m picky about who I let read my stories). Oh well. :-/
God has blessed me with another story idea, and I can’t wait to start writing it and show it to my friends!
At least I do.
That should say, “My life is so much more interesting inside my head”.
I don’t know why my story ideas are so silly, but I do believe God plants them in my head for a reason.
Good advice to take to heart. <3
I have more I want to say, but I’ll leave it for next time. God bless!